when Gladiator wanted to meet LOTR

Oh! its wearisome. People made two good movies: LOTR aka lord of the rings and then Gladiator-vice versa etc.
Now, some others, you know- the more creative of the lot...wanted to make a third.So, they obviously and most brilliantly decided to mix the two.Viola...you get 'the last legion. With Ben Kingsley, a small unknown kid, Colin Firth of the Pride and Prejudice and Shakespeare in love fame, Ms.Aishwarya Rai Bachan of the Bride and Prejudice (or shall we say'Ludhiana se LA balle balle) Infamy come together to bring us a pathetic movie that could have been brought into existence only by Merlin's magic. It requires talent to make such distilled nonsense.

The movie is essentially the search for Ceaser's sword ( and my toothbrush) which is supposed to hold in it unimaginable power (not using my toothbrush can also have devastating affects). So the last 'emperor' of the western roman empire- Augustus (or augustulus as history knows it)- this young brat who already knows valour and oratory and all those fancy things - finds the sword. But as he no longer has an empire...sets out in the company of Ms. Rai ( a paid bodyguard from Byzantine empire), Mr.Firth( an idealistic commander of a non-existent army), Mr.Kingsley ( Merrrline) all set out to britannica to find legion of roman soldiers who went missing. Along the way, we see signs of roman heritage- you know the same things we see today- acqueducts, statues etc. Both Kingsely's role, the quest for the sword and the broken statues reek of LOTR.

Anyway, they reach england, fight battle, the last legion which doesnt want to fight, finally fights, turns turtle (you know, the great roman tactic) and then, the young king, who was actually an emperor, takes the name of pendragon (son of dragon) and throws the sword which was so carefully guarded into a stone, where the sword gets stuck....as we continue watching this rainy saturday afternoon movie, there is a young boy being tutored by Mr.Merlin aka kingsley(who thought his role of a warrior shaman was mysterious and interesting) named...............yes, you guessed right- Arthur...we have king Arthur. It was a very emotional moment for me.Even, Rai has her bollywood moment and everyone is happy.

I hope they dont make a prequel( and name it the 'second last legion') or make a sequel (and call it the return of the last legion).And, Ms.Rai, you werent a great bodyguard.Punjabi bridal roles are just about good for you.


Declaration: I am not Anti-bollywoodist, sexist or exorcist.

Graduate Student's Guide to Ithaca-getting here and geographical location...you know what i mean

Now now, getting to Ithaca is fun.Lots of fun. There are a lot of people who besmirch it by claiming that its in the middle of nowhere. But gentle sirs, apologies.....thou art all mistaken.Please note map above to find that we at ithaca, are not in the middle of nowhere...as a matter of fact, we are several miles from it...you know, that fancy measure of distance the americans use.
Anyway, getting back to the map, the blue lines are streams and lakes.Use this map to get to ithaca ofcourse. You will find the directions to the middle of nowhere in almost all tourist guides.

Transport to getting here: There are always a sufficiently large number of propeller driven planes ( were any of us born when they were still being used?) that land on an airstrip here that is like out of ones of those war movies...you know, secret agent lands on small airstrip, the brave pilot screeches his brakes to a halt, something along those lines. For the less adventurous, you can ofcourse just take the bus from the great port city of New York. You get into a bus, which goes in and out of a tunnel and drives down the highway for a boring 5.5 hours. However, do the trip by day and you get to see all the woods you have to get close to the middle of nowhere. You can then, call yourself a babe in the woods.
For the railroad inclined, we are sorry to you.We have a train, but its essentially a toy train.Ezra Cornell did once build a rail road, but quite a bit of it quit and became a jogging trail...very nice one at that too.
For the aquatically inclined among, you.....well, there is quite a bit of hope. Down, the hill,o'er the great finger of Lake cayuga, lies a path to the Eire canal...(well, it does get a bit eiree here, but we manage) and ofcourse from the eire, we can reach the sea...cant we?

If none of these things suit you, we are building a mass transference system...scotty,er...shall i say subramaniam ( from IIT, madras) beam ' em up.


ps- No offense meant to all ithaca lovers.

Graduate Student's Guide to Ithaca

In view of the upcoming anniversary of one slightly eventful year at Ithaca,I have decided to write a "Graduate Student's Guide to Ithaca".With detailed directions on even how to get here, this might also be used for all you other lesser mortals (God is not so vengeful as we make out, he may just forgive you all). So, the coming few posts will address atleast the following themes: Ithaca's Location and getting here instructions, Geography and looks, Cornell University,Wild Life and ofcourse my personal favourite-the lovely weather. I havent yet decided if there will be others to add, but I might just condescend to add a few more.


:)

skunk worked

It was a dark and not so stormy night. The moon was hidden by some busy clouds, running hither tither under an invisible influence.I, ofcourse your favourite protagonist was wondering why. I heard nothing, yet through the corner of my eyes, i detected movement. In the darkness, I knew, I had been hit by a skunk's spray.Luckily for me, I was protected by my favourite bag, a fully hands shirt and a new pair of cotton trousers. That saved me a lot of irritation. The Skunk's spray,a sulphur compound- smells just like a good distillate of the worst odours you can think of. No, its not like the sweat that pours out your smelly neighbor, your dog's pee or even the most evil smelling thing you can think of.Its not a loud smell. To express in terms of sound, its just so highpitched, your nose blows up.
This, spray, which has been evolved as a defensive mechanism doesnt apparently work against its greatest enemy- the automobile.Anyway, all of you, please stay out of the skunk's way.

After the Left

Energy theft is rife, a capital crime.Electricity is available for emergency needs and public transport only.The rest of us make do as best we can with solar energy and dark streets.Economic growth is ground to a halt. Industry sputters out just the minimum produce. Rationing is back in a big way in India. Welcome to India of the future.

This is one possible reality in the near future in India if we allow the Indian communist party their whims, fancies and fantasies. The communists, intellectual and unselfish, always thinking of the good of the nation and humanity as a whole, worried about the evil influence of the United States, never in pursuit of votes have started a rather principled protest even Satre would have been proud of. Bravo yechuri, bravo both you Karats.

Urrgh...every time I think about, I feel something jarring in my brain. I think they are almost treasonous, every one of the communist party members. They oppose everything, every single logical thing that is required to keep India moving forward. The welfare state has not been sustained in the west. What makes them believe that we can build one in India with a population many magnitudes higher?

And their foreign policy, must have come straight from a tablet they found alongside a dinosaur's fossil. While I agree on the need for an independent foreign policy, their policy smacks of just the opposite. Their entire policy is just to stick to what Indian needed to do in the last century: oppose everything the west does.People, wake up.Colonialism is over. The great evil aka United States, while using us, might also be of use to us. The Cold war is over. Wake up.Were you all sleeping, my dear communists? Its not too hard to believe.

Now, the nuclear deal. We obviously have vast reserves of oil, coal, uranium all that. Coal and uranium are available in supermarkets and ofcourse oil is in every backyard. All you need is a hand driven pump to pump out all the oil.We have so much oil. The communist party in its sublime brilliance has seen all this.Why do we need the nuclear deal with the united states then? Humorous man thou art manmohan. We ofcourse have gas to get from Iran. Even if our own resources run out, we can get it from Iran.We ofcourse forget that the price of all fossil fuels is sufficient high to fill it in nice big tubes and wear it around your neck instead of gold. And also, not to mention that the pipeline bringing gas from Iran has to pass through a nation that we have fought four major wars with in the last century. Again, Karat-were you sleeping, all comfortable in your airconditioned house?

Communists, either you are morally corrupt or just plain old stupid as stupid gets. Please dont ruin my country.Please. If your lofty goals are true, why dont you just go to countryside, use your money and your brilliance, help the farmers make more food, more money and live happily. I once knew a person. He was smart and communist and preached us alot of it. When the time came,when there was a dying institution below waiting to be taken control of, he was there- a circling vulture. All ye communists, you are just that....vultures waiting to take over nations when they fail. Please dont work towards making them fail.

Cinema Watch: Mr.Smith goes to Washington

Not so long ago, Senator Thomas Jefferson Johnson (Eddie Murphy) played the role of a conscientious conman senator in the movie ' Distinguished gentleman'. Low on logic , high on slap stick , this movie- Dummies guide to lobbying and washington- made an almost forgettable ninety minute entertainer (for those who could bear Mr.Murphy).
Quite a long time ago, another movie was made, with a similar premise....with no slap stick and with probably James Stewart's finest silver screen performances. This was 'Mr.Smith goes to Washington'. A scout master who quotes Lincoln and reads the constitution, expected to be a simpleton and not to nose into a dam being built for purposes of graft, Mr.Jefferson Smith (note the similarity) is appointed by a corrupt governor to the american senate.

Mr.Smith attempts to build a scout camp at the same place as the dam leading to a tiff with the powerful forces that control the political machine. When these machines aim to throw him out of the senate on charges of graft, the movie goes into over drive.Smith, aided by a previously cynical aid ( the beauty in the movie) sets off on oratory to convince people of his innocence and the identity of the machine corrupting washington. Carrying out a fillibuster, Smith talks for almost twenty four hours but is almost forced to admit defeat by 'Taylor-made' (Taylor being the head of the political machine) public opinion. However, he goes upto one of Taylor's men who was once a principled man and appeals to his better judgement in a moving speech....forcing him to accept that Smith was right. A lasting image from the movie is the smiling speaker of the american senate who watches first with amusement and then with happiness as he sees Smith's performance . ( i think the speaker is a representation of the good that exists in every establishment however corrupt)

The movie deals with a number of themes including democracy, the freedom of the press, the purity of idealists, the immortality of hope, the attraction of innocence and the power of one. The movie is one of those where the most special effect is the acting of the protagonist, a movie which leaves you happy and inspired.

interesting lives in ithaca

Living in an international community often has interesting outcomes. While I sit peacefully across the bench from a Chinese graduate student, our governments fence across the border. A british scientist i met the other day told me that we Indians speak the finest english anywhere. However, our terminology only confused my Romanian boss. While I "shifted" from one house to another and she laughed at my Indian english term for moving, my american batchmates were only much amused by the shifting. Apparently, my knowledge of english 2.0 is not too good.

Bill the Chinese waiter with the anglicized/americanized name in 'Apollo Chinese restaurant' was getting me my check for General Tso's chicken, the hottest selling commodity in this restaurant- with a reputation for greeness and recycling disposable spoons. I wondered about the origins of this dish, a chef's speciality. I found out that this dish, named after a 19th century Chinese general (Zuo Zongtang), was really and ethnically Chinese, traceable to the native populace of China Town, New York City.

more snippets will be dished out shortly, as and when they happen