Thursday, June 26, 2008

Graduate Student's Guide to Ithaca-getting here and geographical location...you know what i mean


Now now, getting to Ithaca is fun.Lots of fun. There are a lot of people who besmirch it by claiming that its in the middle of nowhere. But gentle sirs, apologies.....thou art all mistaken.Please note map above to find that we at ithaca, are not in the middle of nowhere...as a matter of fact, we are several miles from it...you know, that fancy measure of distance the americans use.
Anyway, getting back to the map, the blue lines are streams and lakes.Use this map to get to ithaca ofcourse. You will find the directions to the middle of nowhere in almost all tourist guides.

Transport to getting here: There are always a sufficiently large number of propeller driven planes ( were any of us born when they were still being used?) that land on an airstrip here that is like out of ones of those war movies...you know, secret agent lands on small airstrip, the brave pilot screeches his brakes to a halt, something along those lines. For the less adventurous, you can ofcourse just take the bus from the great port city of New York. You get into a bus, which goes in and out of a tunnel and drives down the highway for a boring 5.5 hours. However, do the trip by day and you get to see all the woods you have to get close to the middle of nowhere. You can then, call yourself a babe in the woods.
For the railroad inclined, we are sorry to you.We have a train, but its essentially a toy train.Ezra Cornell did once build a rail road, but quite a bit of it quit and became a jogging trail...very nice one at that too.
For the aquatically inclined among, you.....well, there is quite a bit of hope. Down, the hill,o'er the great finger of Lake cayuga, lies a path to the Eire canal...(well, it does get a bit eiree here, but we manage) and ofcourse from the eire, we can reach the sea...cant we?

If none of these things suit you, we are building a mass transference system...scotty,er...shall i say subramaniam ( from IIT, madras) beam ' em up.


ps- No offense meant to all ithaca lovers.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Graduate Student's Guide to Ithaca

In view of the upcoming anniversary of one slightly eventful year at Ithaca,I have decided to write a "Graduate Student's Guide to Ithaca".With detailed directions on even how to get here, this might also be used for all you other lesser mortals (God is not so vengeful as we make out, he may just forgive you all). So, the coming few posts will address atleast the following themes: Ithaca's Location and getting here instructions, Geography and looks, Cornell University,Wild Life and ofcourse my personal favourite-the lovely weather. I havent yet decided if there will be others to add, but I might just condescend to add a few more.


:)

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

skunk worked

It was a dark and not so stormy night. The moon was hidden by some busy clouds, running hither tither under an invisible influence.I, ofcourse your favourite protagonist was wondering why. I heard nothing, yet through the corner of my eyes, i detected movement. In the darkness, I knew, I had been hit by a skunk's spray.Luckily for me, I was protected by my favourite bag, a fully hands shirt and a new pair of cotton trousers. That saved me a lot of irritation. The Skunk's spray,a sulphur compound- smells just like a good distillate of the worst odours you can think of. No, its not like the sweat that pours out your smelly neighbor, your dog's pee or even the most evil smelling thing you can think of.Its not a loud smell. To express in terms of sound, its just so highpitched, your nose blows up.
This, spray, which has been evolved as a defensive mechanism doesnt apparently work against its greatest enemy- the automobile.Anyway, all of you, please stay out of the skunk's way.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

After the Left

Energy theft is rife, a capital crime.Electricity is available for emergency needs and public transport only.The rest of us make do as best we can with solar energy and dark streets.Economic growth is ground to a halt. Industry sputters out just the minimum produce. Rationing is back in a big way in India. Welcome to India of the future.

This is one possible reality in the near future in India if we allow the Indian communist party their whims, fancies and fantasies. The communists, intellectual and unselfish, always thinking of the good of the nation and humanity as a whole, worried about the evil influence of the United States, never in pursuit of votes have started a rather principled protest even Satre would have been proud of. Bravo yechuri, bravo both you Karats.

Urrgh...every time I think about, I feel something jarring in my brain. I think they are almost treasonous, every one of the communist party members. They oppose everything, every single logical thing that is required to keep India moving forward. The welfare state has not been sustained in the west. What makes them believe that we can build one in India with a population many magnitudes higher?

And their foreign policy, must have come straight from a tablet they found alongside a dinosaur's fossil. While I agree on the need for an independent foreign policy, their policy smacks of just the opposite. Their entire policy is just to stick to what Indian needed to do in the last century: oppose everything the west does.People, wake up.Colonialism is over. The great evil aka United States, while using us, might also be of use to us. The Cold war is over. Wake up.Were you all sleeping, my dear communists? Its not too hard to believe.

Now, the nuclear deal. We obviously have vast reserves of oil, coal, uranium all that. Coal and uranium are available in supermarkets and ofcourse oil is in every backyard. All you need is a hand driven pump to pump out all the oil.We have so much oil. The communist party in its sublime brilliance has seen all this.Why do we need the nuclear deal with the united states then? Humorous man thou art manmohan. We ofcourse have gas to get from Iran. Even if our own resources run out, we can get it from Iran.We ofcourse forget that the price of all fossil fuels is sufficient high to fill it in nice big tubes and wear it around your neck instead of gold. And also, not to mention that the pipeline bringing gas from Iran has to pass through a nation that we have fought four major wars with in the last century. Again, Karat-were you sleeping, all comfortable in your airconditioned house?

Communists, either you are morally corrupt or just plain old stupid as stupid gets. Please dont ruin my country.Please. If your lofty goals are true, why dont you just go to countryside, use your money and your brilliance, help the farmers make more food, more money and live happily. I once knew a person. He was smart and communist and preached us alot of it. When the time came,when there was a dying institution below waiting to be taken control of, he was there- a circling vulture. All ye communists, you are just that....vultures waiting to take over nations when they fail. Please dont work towards making them fail.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Cinema Watch: Mr.Smith goes to Washington

Not so long ago, Senator Thomas Jefferson Johnson (Eddie Murphy) played the role of a conscientious conman senator in the movie ' Distinguished gentleman'. Low on logic , high on slap stick , this movie- Dummies guide to lobbying and washington- made an almost forgettable ninety minute entertainer (for those who could bear Mr.Murphy).
Quite a long time ago, another movie was made, with a similar premise....with no slap stick and with probably James Stewart's finest silver screen performances. This was 'Mr.Smith goes to Washington'. A scout master who quotes Lincoln and reads the constitution, expected to be a simpleton and not to nose into a dam being built for purposes of graft, Mr.Jefferson Smith (note the similarity) is appointed by a corrupt governor to the american senate.

Mr.Smith attempts to build a scout camp at the same place as the dam leading to a tiff with the powerful forces that control the political machine. When these machines aim to throw him out of the senate on charges of graft, the movie goes into over drive.Smith, aided by a previously cynical aid ( the beauty in the movie) sets off on oratory to convince people of his innocence and the identity of the machine corrupting washington. Carrying out a fillibuster, Smith talks for almost twenty four hours but is almost forced to admit defeat by 'Taylor-made' (Taylor being the head of the political machine) public opinion. However, he goes upto one of Taylor's men who was once a principled man and appeals to his better judgement in a moving speech....forcing him to accept that Smith was right. A lasting image from the movie is the smiling speaker of the american senate who watches first with amusement and then with happiness as he sees Smith's performance . ( i think the speaker is a representation of the good that exists in every establishment however corrupt)

The movie deals with a number of themes including democracy, the freedom of the press, the purity of idealists, the immortality of hope, the attraction of innocence and the power of one. The movie is one of those where the most special effect is the acting of the protagonist, a movie which leaves you happy and inspired.

Monday, March 31, 2008

interesting lives in ithaca

Living in an international community often has interesting outcomes. While I sit peacefully across the bench from a Chinese graduate student, our governments fence across the border. A british scientist i met the other day told me that we Indians speak the finest english anywhere. However, our terminology only confused my Romanian boss. While I "shifted" from one house to another and she laughed at my Indian english term for moving, my american batchmates were only much amused by the shifting. Apparently, my knowledge of english 2.0 is not too good.

Bill the Chinese waiter with the anglicized/americanized name in 'Apollo Chinese restaurant' was getting me my check for General Tso's chicken, the hottest selling commodity in this restaurant- with a reputation for greeness and recycling disposable spoons. I wondered about the origins of this dish, a chef's speciality. I found out that this dish, named after a 19th century Chinese general (Zuo Zongtang), was really and ethnically Chinese, traceable to the native populace of China Town, New York City.

more snippets will be dished out shortly, as and when they happen

Monday, December 17, 2007

india is an exception

Not so long ago, I was reading about the role of language and ethnicity in conflict and separation. In this, the author said that the exception to this is India. He went onto say that India is an oddity, not supposed to exist at all, and that it sat outside all the laws that applied to sociology. More recently, a friend in political sciences aired a similar opinion. Its amazing that we survive as a nation-state despite the zillions of languages that we have...when a 'western nation with an advanced civil structure' like Belgium is fighting over language. However, unlike India, it has two languages!

see below for more details:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7148307.stm

Monday, December 03, 2007

maggi and why i shouldnt be bloggin right now

Right now, there is snow blowing all over the place. To look from behind a warm window, its talcum powder blowing around in the wind. To be walking, in the cold breeze, its like a barbecue over a volcano.Anyway, there are still some psychos who are jogging around in shorts, t-shirt , ipod and ear plugs dangling down. All these joggers, i would like to stop them and call them-psychos. These are the kind of people who give ones with very healthy lifestyles, a bad name.


Now about the maggi. To all those people who dont know what maggi is. Tis a nearly-ready- to eat swiss copy of an east asian/oriental staple food that is made in india. I am sure that all the connoisseurs are by now rubbing their hands in glee , waiting to gourge and swim their way through maggi. Maggi consists of strings with a vague resemblance to noodles. Its the main source of emergency nutrition for the starved, lazy and 'horrible cook 'varieties of students who inhabit the worlds of cobwebbed hostels. Over time, the maggi made by these individuals evolves to include whatever they couldnt add to their last cooking experiments (usually other versions of maggi).

I am starting to believe that maggi is part of a global conspiracy, to replace all the food that is good in this world. I believe that its succeeding.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Sunset at TIFR












forgive the bad adobe...twas the best an amateur on his first attempt to merge photos could do.


Here in the land of milk and honey, I am fast seeing the season of eternal darkness. Not to say that the sun doesnt rise, it does and drags its lazy arse over the horizon faster than a tropical person would think possible.I miss sunshine and more than anything else....the beautiful sunsets that were forever a part of the life at tifr, the sunsets we so took for granted. Alas!

Thursday, November 22, 2007

report on an american thanksgiving

George Bush Refuses to Pardon Turkey
Adding to the list after Al-Qaeda and Saddam Hussein, President George Bush the Lesser, refused to pardon the presidential Turkey this thanksgiving. While the reasons for this clemency refusal is not clear, it is thought to have something to do with a alleged recent attack by the turkey on the president's pet dog.

Opinion Poll: Worries over turkey's withdrawal of ambassador
In an opinion poll, 79% of americans reported that they were worried about turkey's recent withdrawal of its ambassador. the other 21% were vegetarians.

Cornell Deserted:
Reports from Cornell university suggested that 99.2% of the students were busy thanking someone else outside cornell and hence no one was left at the university town. About 0.8% were wandering around the campus to see how many were walking around the campus. In this poll, none of the ghosts were counted.

The solitude of the socialite

Tiny sharp glances scamper through,piercing through the crowds, between the pizza, beer and gossip. Glances to make note of the million imperfections of every face in the crowd. Glances to note the innocuous comment, the skirts should they swirl and mouths if they should talk. Its the world where the individual is revered but where uniformity and conformity are worshipped. The party going socialite, stands by himself and herself....alone in the crowd..all ears and all eyes....detecting glances, shielding himself and herself, slobbering and slandering. Slobbering and slandering to villify and cast down those outside the earshot. Each unto himself, slandering together with the rest about the individual who stands without. More pizza, beer, beer pong and bed. More glances for the imperfections, more voices for the slander. The clock ticks by. The lone socialite waits, watches, listens, to pick up the slandering voices that would target him and her. There may be none...yet he slanders and listens...slanders and listens.

Monday, November 12, 2007

The American highway

The highway is long and winding.....its an interstate that according to uncited and unchecked conspiratorial brains, were desgined to be straight enough for nuclear armed planes to land and take off during the cold war. I bet that you need a plane to land vertically on this highway. It was nice and pretty in the couple of afternoon hours that the sun hung up there. The sun...it was nothing more than the size of a quarter, as dim as a fully lit moon. The woods, to copy Frost...were lovely, dark and deep, covered with frost and mist and all those symptoms of late autumn. I like the word autumn, it echoes much longer ...reflecting and giving a taste of the beauty, of the wind coloured by the falling leaves and the golden sun.I hate to use 'fall' to describe it.Its a word- american in body and soul. Shortened to save time,typewriter ribbons and telephone conversations. Autumn, nature's last dance before the white winter monochrome sets in.

Its early evening if you are an Indian, but late afternoon if you are american. Its very dark now...the sun snuffed by the gnawing winter and the rain. The rain is not heavy, its just a spiteful drizzle. Its probably icy cold. From where I sit, I see it only in the persistence of the windscreen wipers and in the dipping lights of the weekend traffic-wierding and snaking its way,away from city life and its cancerous existence.

The weekend traffic rumbles on, to find a place they call home, out in the deep dark woods. They ride the american road-ambition, innovation and the free market.Free to buy, to sell and to get up and run to places they wonna go. I hope I dont ever need my forgiveness, but I am on this road.This is America, the land of confusion-the land where Hunter S. Thomson is god and Robert Frost is feared and loathed.This is the land where speech is free but everything else costs.There is an Indian driver, with a North Indian accent thats driving this bus. Welcome to the land of nylon, dreams and the first amendment.


The rain is transmogrified to sleet now. I like calvin.Its the sketch of america, a nation we all ape. America is a nation, that to quote another mass manufacturer of such lines, knows the cost of everything, but many a times, the value of nothing.

note: My views in this essay are influenced by my limited experiences here,my patience and the silly undergraduate in the seat next to me who is testing my patience with three hours of non-stop gossip. I hope that either I get where I am going soon or that her battery fails, or her voice dies!

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

save the day

In the US of A, time is always in short supply.People are always in a hurry to save it. Many an ingenious device- including instant noodles, expressways and speed dating have been invented to serve this purpose. However, the most interesting invention of all has been that of saving the day. So once a year, when the winter gnaws at your bones, a device known as daylight saving goes off line. Along with it comes a minor perturbation of your circadian rhythm. You wake up assuming that you are late for class anyway and might as well burrow back under that quilt. However, you look at the clock and you know that you are in time and that have to trudge your way through the freezing wind to class. Unlike the other circadian rhythm disruptors such as PhD and Jet lag, this is neither demanding on your wallet or your life.
US of A is an interesting place......there has been one innovative invention for every hamburger eaten, I am just waiting for the right orientation of stars, saturday night football games, beer pong and pizza-cum-hangover parties that would give rise to night time saving....I need to save my sleep you see!

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Did Rama exist?

I dont know the answer to that question. The ASI (A little known organisation called the Archeological Survey of India) filed an affidavit that "there was no evidence to prove “the existence of the characters or the occurrence of the events” in the Ramayana". I am unqualified to talk on length about it. What irks me however, is the way the Indian Govt and the various political parties have handled,made an issue of how ASI claimed that adam's bridge was manmade and how this flies in the face of the beliefs of India. (for more info, read http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam%27s_Bridge , http://www.hindu.com/2007/09/14/stories/2007091458630100.htm ).


In the first decade of India's birth, Nehru oriented India and its goverment to be built on science and secularism. This article is not to showcase the many other unscientific and/or unsecular beliefs and practises of the government and the constituent political parties.I just want to point out how well this is representative of the disorientation of policies that were supposed to shape india.

Coming back to the bridge.There is undoubtedly a body of land which can be found there, there is a controversy about whether its natural or artificial( and if its artificial it still doesnt prove that rama built it-assuming that he existed). If its man-made, its obviously a marvel that needs to be saved from any damage. So, if someone has raised,what may be a valuable argument, send a team to scientifically investigate the formation.

Without taking the action that would have most likely reduced the complications of an important project or on the other hand-shed light on the history of ancient India,a Union minister of law only makes statements like “Lord Rama is an integral part of Indian culture and ethos and cannot be a matter of debate or subject matter of litigation in court".

India claims to be a secular country.Nothing is above the court and the constitution. This congress led government is as far from the Nehruvian vision of India as was the BJP's. So, it will soon join the long list events and failures-civl code for the muslims, post-godhra riots etc- that makes india pseudo-secular and pseudo-scientific. Its a big shame !

Thursday, June 21, 2007

What is India?

For twenty-one of my twenty-three years, I lived in Hyderabad( a city in the state of Andhra Pradesh).I was brought up, never in doubt of my identity as an Indian. But I never ever asked the question of what makes an Indian. This question, I posed to myself after many an important personal experience.

Over the last two years, I stayed in Bombay, working at an institute which attracts people from India and beyond. Many an experience here made me ask that question. A Taiwanese student who had come for a conference after meeting half a dozen people from all over India- remarked that they all looked so different. We are also different, yet what makes us a nation?

Nations all over the world have been mostly constituted on that basis of the ethnic nature of their populace. In a few countries such as the United States, different ethnic groups are mashed into one. I argue that India stands apart, a society of not one or two different ethnic groups ( as seen in many countries), but a collection of disparate and diverse groups. I feel proud that India, essentially a freak, a unique example in history stands strong as a nation- nearly sixty years after its birth.Again, what makes an Indian?

Is it a common pre-modern history that contributes to this? We do share a common pre-modern history.The Mogul empire,the gupta empire etc. did bring unify large parts of India.But i argue that many European nations were once part of the Roman empire, the French empire etc, but they all don't claim to be a part of a common country. Fifty years of attempts have brought them only to a community. No, our common pre-modern history is not what welds us together.

I have heard from many a people that its a religion that unites us. This is a supremely fallacious argument. We have the second largest Muslim population in the world. According to the introduction to the law of the land that Indira Gandhi got added,we are a secular nation. I agree that the secularism is maintained in place not only by government policy but by the actions of one religion discriminating against another. Anyway, further, an overwhelmingly large majority of south America is Catholic Christian, but they never failed to unite. We could have had multiple republics within India which were of a Hindu.No, religion is not an argument.

......to be contd.


Continued at long last....

I must confess, after writing the first part, I realised that I had no real clue as to what India is and what defines us as a nation state. My inspiration to finish this, ironically comes from a recent BBC documentary called 'the story of India'. In it, is described the march of India and its population from prehistory to the modern era. It then stuck me that there were two common features or threads that run through the whole of the subcontinent, two important features that make India. Also,some of my current arguments may be at odds with what I have previously written. Its part of an evolving argument I am having about what really makes India and who is an Indian.

Our ancient history:
Of the known history of the subcontinent, modern geopolitical India has been united for only for a small fraction of time. However, culturally, the subcontinent has been united for most of this history. I will make no claim to Indian culture being a North Indian or Aryan synthesis. However,all I will say is that the geographical limitations placed by the mountain ranges in the north and east and strong native cultures in the west created a real mixing pot. The cultural influences of the north would spread south and and southern cultural influences would spread north. As the centuries passed by, though they were some differences, the Indian subcontinent as a whole could be considered by certain metrics to have similar cultural features.
Important among these are the spread of Hindu, Buddhist and Jain religions. There is ample evidence that while these spread to the south of India from the north, there was a great schools of Hinduism and Buddhism in the south. From the south spread a multitude of dance forms to the north. This cultural synthesis is one of the most important features of India.
One important event that cannot be brushed over is the role played by Sanskrit as a progenitor of multiple primary languages in north and central India. However, I agree that Sanskrit probably had lesser influence of Tamil or that it has been purged over the ages.( My understanding of the linguistic relationships of Indian languages requires more reading and I will make no judgements.)Sanskrit would have provided a conduit for ideas, a factor important in the homogenization of Indian culture.

Now, the important question is - How does this part of Indian history really affect modern India? It might be argued that several Indian political and cultural practises. Hammurabi's laws have often been held up as the progenitor of law in many regions of the world and has probably affected us also. However, some of the greatest influence on our laws, both those in the constitution and those that are social are Ashoka's edicts. Why else would we use his symbols as our national emblems? The concept of peaceful coexistence has also been an important feature of Indian foreign policy. Arguably, therefore, these concepts have also deeply influenced us through the generations. As the 'story of India' made me realise, we are the projections of three or more millenia of history.

Medieval and Modern Indian History:

As Northern India came under the infuence of various Islamic Dynasties, North Indian cultures diverged from the more insular Southern India. Language, architecture and religion were heavily influenced by Muslim invaders coming from the west and central asia. This is a defining point in Indian history creating a point of divergence between southern and northern india, a divergence that would need to be bridged. The divergence and some could claim- animosity between the south and the north is so huge that they might have really been two independent nations. So, why are they one nation? Why do people on both sides of the Vindhyas consider themseleves Indians? I think here in lies the importance of a few good men who brought India together at Independence.
There are many who claim that it was really the British who united India. But they forget, that at independence- Kashmir, Hyderabad, Goa and Pondicherry werent really a part of India. Also, they forget that most of the princely states were given the choice to secede and form independent kingdoms. So how did the Indian national identity crystallize? There exists a reasonable case that this identity arose due to the actions of a few men.

Indians are prone to hero worship. Indian religions and culture, more than any other mainstream culture, has portrayed god in human form- or shall I say forms. In an extension of this habit, we have considered a few men- the likes of Gandhi and Nehru to be demigods. One provided the culture of ancient India moderated by the modern world while the other provided the modern world tempered by ancient India.Modern India rallied to them. As far as I see it, the British provided a medium through which these men reached out to modern India. Its probably the love of these men that fashioned modern India- bridging the gaps that arose between the vastness of the Indian subcontinent.

Post independence, we were all conditioned to believe that diversity was the normal state of existence. Regional heros became national heros. Thats what I think India really is, a melting pot. Thats where I think we are heading- towards a synthesis of north and south, old cultures that never die but are only refashioned by modern gods.

I hope I have done a modicum of justice to this topic. I am not sure I have touched all the important points and more importantly, my ideas on this topic are still evolving.

a lot of nothingnesses

Its been a long time since I have updated my blog. Nothing has happened since then which warranted my not so sincere efforts to convert it into a readable blog. The year past has flown past, with work, of so many types of it and so much of each type, that that there was no time to experience anything. I did ofcourse feel the nice cold breeze of the air conditioner conditioned by the swinging vanes, my own fat, fattened by sweet coffee, glucose biscuits and chaotic life styles.

With a bull dogging boss biting away at my butt, I did blurt out a thesis, with results so earth shaking that the one legged pet millipede of a local three legged human almost fell off its feet. Well, but this is how science progresses forward. My boss however feels like she has taken a spring-heeled step ahead.well, bosses are always bosses, really existing in virtual reality.I guess I dont care anymore.But i must write an entry about it.

Apart from that, in my efforts to go to the other side of the atlantic ditch, I did go to the american consulate in bombay. It was a place which reeked with so much of the 'we welcome you' things- of what would happen to you if you just so happened to forge your visa or the passport its stuck into. I smiled a bit and thought of the last scene of the movie-the terminal- where hanks goes out of the airport after months of attempts-to find an albanian taxi driver, who arrives the day before. Well, it is a world of minor inconsistencies and all that.


I hope to find less nothingness and more experience for the next blog entry.Actually, i do have one, but i still need to get myself out of the void and write it down...without the voluntarily vague and legalistic language that finds itself worshipped in my thesis.

Sunday, April 15, 2007





Monday, March 12, 2007

Reflecting ..............


Reflecting .............., originally uploaded by bored kid.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Pic of the week: Rags and Riches


new world, originally uploaded by bored kid.

Science and the art of Job production

Throughout the world, from the united states of america to the not so united states of ethiopia, the creation of jobs is a big issue.People win and lose elections because of it. Kings and empires fall (Robert Mugabe seems to be a current exception though). So, it has always been an interesting problem. Economists win huge prizes and accolades. So, i have decided to concoct my own recipe for this particular purpose.

The story of how i hit on it started off with a boring lab meet where my boss was trying to outline the importance of an obsolete, ancient review on a small set of cells in the front part of the mouse brain. So at the end of the boring review of the ancient obsolete review, my boss described how a protein-gene had been named as FORSE 1 or something along those lines, but unfortunately they never found FORSE2. Science is sometimes like hollywood- sucessful and important genes get sequels and prequels and variants- those which dont get no sequels.

Anyway ,this triggered off a thought in my mind...about how jobs could be created. I think humans capable of minutely studying, measuring,remeasuring,describing,re describing, arguing, rearguing about and over arcane topics ,which will never appeal to the rest of you mere mortals,
( such as studying why there is a kink in one of the RNA molecules in one of the six hundred bacterium which metabolise nitrogen in the gut of the dung beetle) should be collected together under a gigantic building- be given all the money the government can provide plus a connection to the internet with an email id ofcourse. This innovative cream of the human race must be encouraged to buy new machines and fancier chemicals all the time.

Once ofcourse this happens, you will have an entire industry trying to build newer machines and distill fancier chemicals. Now ofcourse, that part of humanity which wanted to do science but never wanted to study dung beetle bacteria will get jobs in such an industry. They will also have a need for less fancy chemicals, less fancy machines and ofcourse computers and email. Thus, some people who wanted to neither study dung beetle bacteria or make fancy chemicals will join this industry. They will obviously be less fancy chemicals and machines-with less flashing lights and lesser numbers of colour that these people would need. Thus,a separate section of humanity would work on this, and there would be more people to service them and so on so forth.

Now, even though they may have demi-god status, dung beetle bacterial experts and those serving beneath them in the consumer pyramid would ofcourse require food and clothes.......this is where the rest of you come in.

Now,what makes this different from all other job producing schemes? The deal is very very simple. In the current world, the number of jobs being created are based on fairly mysterious decimalled numbers supposedly indicative of the health of the economy and some such things. However, the factor which limits the growth of the economy/jobs is the demand for goods and services. This demand is not always constant.
I propose that this constancy can be attained if the government spends a very large part of its budget on science. In science there is always something to study.There are billions of species. At the rate of one species per human- we already have given everyone a job.However, everyone doesnt like studying species. There are ofcourse a hundred odd elements and a multitude of isotopes. At the rate of one chief scientist and a harem of ten phd students and the other odd slave per element, plus one scientist to contest the claim made by every other, you have a few thousand more jobs.
Ofcourse, everyone doesnt like studying elements. There are people who study the universe and its constituents. At the rate of one scientist plus harem per theory and hypothesis- you have more jobs.
The best thing about this kind of an arrangement is the kind of control the govt can have. If you dont want to increase jobs this year, you can ask the scientists to create no new hypotheses or ask them not study new species. However, if you want to create a zillion new jobs, all you need to do is create ten new hypotheses per science- the percolation will ofcourse create a million new jobs ( my estimates suggest).

Anyway, Congress(I) and manmohan, George Bush and Tony Blair- realize the value of science.
Pay the scientists well.Create new posts in science,fund us and you will win every election!
heheh!